世上只有媽媽好?有媽的孩子不知道?母愛的內涵與其影響因素之探究

Abstract

本研究透過十一位育有青少年子女之台灣母親的生命歷程訪談資料，分析出母親們對其兒女的母愛內涵，以及母愛的影響因素與變化歷程。本研究將母愛歸類為內隱母愛及外顯母愛。內隱母愛包含母親對兒女的情感、意志和期望，情感包含擔心、思念、心庝、渴望親近和自覺愧疚，意志包括為兒女犧牲的心志和不離不棄的責任感，期望則被歸類為母親期待兒女的健康、獨立、品德和成就；外顯母愛則包含母親對兒女的日常照顧、管教、陪伴、忍耐、為兒女提供資源和與兒女親親抱抱等行為。研究發現，外顯的母愛行為除了受內隱母愛所影響，還受母親對自我、對原生家庭和對信仰的反省所影響，也受母親的知識、婚姻關係、工作和時間，以及兒女本身的特質的影響。母親的母愛行為會影響兒女的母愛感受，此外，兒女的母愛感受還受兒女解讀母愛的能力、手足的爭競和兒女的經身親歷的影響，進而影響兒女對母親的回應，從感謝母親到報復母親都有。母親們很清楚自己對兒女的內隱母愛，但比起外顯母愛，前者更不易被兒女所感受，或許正因如此，本研究的參與母親皆認為自己給予下一代的母愛多於上一代母親給予自己的。也就是說，身受母親外顯母愛的兒女們不見得能解讀母親的內隱母愛。而那些因母親離家而無法享受外顯母愛的女兒們，對母親則表現出恨和報復。This study interviewed eleven Taiwanese mothers who have adolescents. From those mothers’ life histories, I, the researcher, intended to understand the structure of maternal love and its influential sources. Maternal love is divided into internal and external aspects of maternal love. The internal aspects of maternal love include mothers’ affections, willpower, and expectations. Mothers show their affections through expressing their concerns, thoughts, feelings of heartache or guilt, or longing for closeness toward their children. Mothers’ willpower means that mothers feel responsible to never abandon their children but scarify themselves for their children. Mothers’ expectations are their expectations for their Children's health, independence, characters, or achievement. The external aspects of maternal love include providing daily care, taking disciplinary actions, keeping company, being patience, and providing resources and affections for their children. This study has found that external aspects of maternal love are not only influenced by internal aspects of maternal love, but also by mothers’ views on themselves, their original family background , religion, , education background, marital relationship, work, time, and their children’s characteristics. How individual mothers express their maternal love will influence their children’s perception of maternal love. In addition, children’s ability to interpret how their mothers express maternal love, the rivalry among siblings, or children’s own life experience may also have impacts on children’s perceptions of maternal love. Accordingly, children’s reactions may vary from expressing gratitude towards to retaliating against their mothers.. Finally, mothers in this study are well aware of their own internal love for their children. However, compared to the external aspects of maternal love, the internal ones are much difficult for children to experience. Maybe for the same reason, the participants in this study perceive that they give more maternal love to their children than their mothers once gave them.