星途奇航～育有自閉症孩子之輕症自閉症者的父職實踐與自我調適

Abstract

本研究以詮釋現象學的方法揭開育有自閉症孩子之輕症自閉症者的父職實踐，以及當爸爸歷程中的自我調適。研究對象為王子與騎士，透過7-8次深度訪談以及各2次與其太太訪談，進行現象的還原。 研究結果揭示：王子在軍中時是疏離的養家者，父職的從事稱不上。退伍後他以「全包式」照顧而成為孩子生活照顧者與紀律規範者，以「玉不琢不成器」、「鐵不打不成鋼」、「認真讀書打好根基」的信念用高標準要求敏俊，把孩子當部隊訓練，使敏俊對父親產生懼怕的後遺症。自孩子三年級後與太太置換教養權而成為教養的旁觀者、遞補者、協助者，也試圖扮演孩子的朋友、哥兒們及白臉等多元角色。 王子不因孩子自閉症確診而鬆懈對成績的要求，教養行為包括說教式的碎念洗腦、過來人式的安慰法、獎金激勵法、刻不容緩立馬要求和忍不住參一咖，他深愛孩子卻不確定孩子對他的情感。自身特質的確診對於王子的父職實踐無實質性的影響。 王子的父職準備來自成長背景的社會規範與價值觀、原生家庭的傳統教養方式與長年在軍隊的訓練下所影響，原初採取的教養方式遭致很深的挫敗，在敏俊自閉症確診事實的頓悟與省思、太太的帶領與示範下，此兩個因素強力作用使他過去傳統高壓的方法漸式微，他邊看邊學也涉獵親子教養書籍，他注入了許多從孩子觀點看世界的知能，唯社會互動能力較弱的特質仍顯著影響他父職實踐的品質。 王子教養上的改變動機包括：帶孩子與帶部隊截然不同，帶孩子沒有結束的一天；孩子是自己的，無法重來。能轉移從孩子的立場思考問題是他實踐父職的一大躍進。為了好好愛孩子，王子展開調適的行動，以認知調整、思考彈性為最大改變，但其認知尚未能引領行為上的調整，從「知道」到「確信」再轉化為可操作的SOP流程，對王子仍是一條漫漫長路。 騎士在征翔九歲前工作重心在內陸，同樣是疏離的養家者，談不上父職實踐。至征翔四年級後被太太喚回臺灣，他成為親職的遞補者、為孩子出征至學校溝通的保衛者，也以自閉症的前輩、師傅自居。他期望孩子能吃苦、尋出自己生命的出路、做自己和別人的偶像、撐起這個家，教養行為包括：情境模擬、實戰分析、提前體驗；打罵教育讓孩子嘗試錯誤；過來人經歷的經驗值；說故事來想像情境與放聲思考；偶爾從孩子的動機談起；因特質而採不同教養方式。騎士愛之深責之切的教養力道，使征翔又敬又愛又怕。 騎士的父職準備受到原生家庭中缺乏歸屬感影響，一心想建立屬於自己的家庭。原初採取的教養方式不自覺承襲過往養成方式的對待，太太拉著他與征翔共處又否定與不支持他的教養觀，使他進退維谷。他心疼孩子與他同類人的遭遇，引發急迫的教養動力與行為，但追求攝影的狂熱卻使他的父職實踐無法全心一意僅點狀給予。他感受到社會規範對自閉症者的壓迫與限制，教導征翔學習在社會界線內生存是他教養上的課題。 征翔國中後騎士減少責打多了說教，增加更多模擬演練期望讓孩子的行為更適當，騎士的父職實踐努力出一套在行為上能勉強使社會規範容許但內在認知尚未調整或鬆動的可操作方法，行至目前他當爸爸的表現未達太太的期望標準，在校方眼裡仍是頭痛人物，他的父職仍在進化中。 兩位爸爸在父職中都願盡一份心力，卻呈現強烈的有心無力，缺乏承擔父職的知能與技巧，也不擅於夫妻間的溝通協調，他們表現的方式均非太太所能認可，也不符合孩子的期望。即使在職場中練就出社交人際的具體因應與調適，卻無法熟練的轉移與類化至夫妻與親子相處中，甚至認為家庭經營比職場工作更困難，社交技巧的琢磨為最大的挑戰與調適。This study revealed the fathering practice and self-adjustment of the adults with mild autism who fathered a child with autism in method of phenomenological interpretation. It conducted phenomena reduction through 7-8 times in-depth interviews with the subjects of the Prince and Knight, and with their wives each twice. The results revealed: Prince was an alienated breadwinner in the army, so his fatherhood could not be called in. After leaving the army he was in "all-inclusive" care for child's life caregiver and discipline maker. He asked Min Jun through "harder it grows", "hit the iron into steel", "reading hardly lay the foundation" of faith with the high standards, training child as well as the military, so Min Jun generated the fear sequela to his father. Since the child’s the third grade Prince changed the upbringing right with his wife to be a spectator and facilitator. He was also trying to play a child's friends, buddies and white face, such as multiple roles. Prince didn’t lax requirements for achievement performance due to child’s diagnosis with autism and his fathering behaviors included: didactic annoying chatters, over man-style comfort, bonus incentive strategy, requires urgent and could not help but want to participate. He loved the child but couldn’t make sure about child’s feelings. Prince’s diagnosis of autism was no substantial impact for his fathering practice. Prince’s fatherhood preparation came from the social norms and values of upbringing, traditional education native families, and the training effect for many years in the army. He took original rearing into deep frustration. Under his epiphany and reflection for the fact of Min Jun’s diagnosis with autism and the leadership and demonstration of his wife, under strong effect two factors that his traditional method of high pressure gradually faded away. He also watched to learn parenting books and injected a lot of knowledge and ability about thinking from the point of view of the child's world. Only the weak capacity of the social interaction characteristics still significantly affected the quality of his fathering practices. Prince’s changing upbringing motives included: it was different with children and with forces, there was no end of the day with children, and the children’s growing could not be repeated. His fathering practice had a great leap forward that thinking could be transferred from the child's position. In order to love the child, Prince launched adaptation actions and the biggest change was the perception adjustment and elastic thinking. But his cognition could not lead the behavioral adjustment, from "know" to "confident" and then into actionable SOP process, it was still a very long way to Prince. Before Zheng Xiang 9-year-old Knight’s working focus was in China, he was also alienated breadwinner and not to mention the practice of fatherhood. To Zheng Xiang’s the fourth grade, Knight was recalled back Taiwan by his wife. He became a by-parenting and a child protector who set off to the school of communication, and also claimed to be autistic predecessors or master. He expected child to endure hardship, to find out a way out of his life, to do his own and other people's idol, and to hold up the house. Parenting behaviors included: situational simulation, real analysis, early experience; abuse education and error trial; his own experiences provided; by telling stories to imagine situations and to think aloud; occasionally talking from child's motivation; and different parenting styles taking depending on the characteristics. Knight used tough love parenting strength so Zheng Xiang respected and was scared to him. Original knight’s rearing inherited the original family treated style unconsciously. His wife asked him to get along with Zheng Xiang but did not support the view of his upbringing, it led him to a dilemma. His distressing with child the same kind of suffered to child triggered the power and urgency of fathering behavior, but the fanatical pursuit of photography made him unable to wholeheartedly practice of fatherhood only point to give. He felt the oppression and restriction of social norms on autism and that he taught Zheng Xiang to learn to survive within the boundaries of the society was the issue of his upbringing. Since the child into junior, Knight had reduced spanking but increased the preaching and added more simulation exercises to expect more appropriate behavior of child. He made efforts on a set of behaviors that could be barely tolerated within social norms but not yet be linked with adjusted cognition. His fathering was still evolving. Both fathers were willing to make a contribution on fatherhood but showed strong powerless and lacked knowledge and skills to assume fathering. They were not good at communication and coordination between husband and wife. The way they behaved was not recognized by wives and not conformed to the expectations of children. Even they had mastered social response and adjustment in the workplace but couldn’t transfer those to family, or even thought that family management was more difficult than work. Social skills were the biggest challenge and adjustment.