潛水鐘與蝴蝶：尋找遺失的社會工作拼圖

Abstract

我是一位在助人專業中迷失的學習者，而這是一篇關於找尋的故事。故事起源於我在實習中所面臨到的挫折，面對服務使用者而一無是處的我，從助人的美好想像中重重的往下摔落，我感受到社會工作專業與自身經驗的斷裂，也對社會工作感到困惑。我開始反思自己的社會工作，卻發現自己成為資本主義中的爪牙，這種憤怒漸漸滿溢而找不到出口。我因此試著以自我敘說的研究方法，釐清我社會工作的認同，重新建構屬於自己的社會工作圖像，也希望透過故事的細緻紋理，紀錄非本科系社工學生對於社會工作的體認，留下不同於主流觀點的論述，甚至進而招喚那些對於故事有所感觸的助人學習者們，一同犁出一條舒適的小徑。

我在書寫時，慢慢從生命經驗中耙梳，來回反思我社會工作認同的形塑過程，從中也結合批判社會工作的觀點，將後現代與後結構理論導向實務上的探索。漸漸地，我的情緒找到了出口，也尋覓到我在社會工作中暫時的舒適位置，這樣的一篇論文是作為解放與抵抗的力量。解放之處在於，我在書寫過程不斷試圖剝除黏貼在我身上的各式認同，以發展出更具主體性的自我以及社會工作知識，讓我從桎梏的社工枷鎖中得以適度伸展。而透過自我故事的敘說，我要抵抗的則是權威、實證典範以及主流社會工作的論述。

這是一篇關於我，以及找路的論文，我從故事的書寫中感受到力量的流竄，我是一個沒有實務經驗的社工學習者，但此時此刻的我被記錄下來，代表了社會工作中一種異質的聲音。書寫只是一個開端，我期待未來能夠引起接續的行動，這是一篇未完的論文，但留白的結局，卻也蘊含著更多開創的可能。I am under-graduated student in Sociology and this master thesis shows the transition experience of my own learning process from Sociology to Social Work. It all begins from the practical training. After facing the service users directly, I felt really confused and depressed. When I struggled to figure out what the essence of Social Work is, I found out that I simply followed the rules of Capitalism when providing service for service users. After that, I felt so frustrated that I need to search for my social work identity. Later, I decided to use the self-narrative to reconstruct my own image of social work field. Besides, I also used several theoretical perspectives to reorganize and reexamine my own life. Those theories include critical social work, post-modern and post-structuralism theory.

Step by step, I obtained a temporary suitable position in social work field. Moreover, I successfully deal with my emotion. On the one hand, I realized the implicit influence of power structure in social institute. And this is what the social workers must confront this existing power structure. On the other hand, I got a clearer understanding of myself and gain more self–confidence.

The self-narrative really made me discover the real meaning of social work to me. Although, I don’t have social work practical experience, I think this writing process will be a starter for me. I will expect myself to take more action. After all, actions speak louder than words.